From "I" to "We" to a "Successful We" !

3rd - 5th November 2015

Judy Van Zon, an internationally recognized coach took a workshop for us on "Team Collaboration and Relationship System Intelligence, Transforming the face of Leadership."
It was a three-day workshop full of team processes that focused on building emotional intelligence, peer understanding, better team building and effective communication.

We started off with greeting each other in a unique way, thinking what are those virtues that I want to have in a relationship and our not there. So someone who feels he needs to be more congenial, would greet every person in the hall saying "Hello! I am X. I would want to make people really comfortable in a relationship. I would like to be more congenial". Repeating the virtue which is lacking in our personal relationships while meeting all the 20 people in a hall triggered the introspection process which was to follow the next 3 days.

Our introductions were based on the main question : "What are we looking forward to take from this workshop"?
I have worked in a lot of teams in my life but they all were small teams, where I have always managed to strike a personal chord with my teammates and motivated them in a personalized fashion. I wanted to know that when the size of the team to be lead grows, how practical and necessary it is to strike personal chord with people given that I have limited energy. The second thing I wanted to know was that individual objectives often clash with group objectives, which leads to the source of happiness differing for many people. Not everyone bases thier happiness in the achievement of the common goals. How far should I go to take that extra mile to make everyone happy - given that I have limited time.

1. QUALITIES OF A GREAT TEAM
After these two basic things, we made one of the most important exercises of the workshop - we thought of the best team we have worked in, and had to note down all its qualities. For me, the team of Good Governance 2nd years who organised the freshers for juniors was the team I got to learn the most from. Everyone amongst us is a unique individual with a diverse set of strengths and qualities. I could figure out the following things which set our team as one of the most unique ones : -
1. One common unified objective (Group Sankalpa)
2. Diverse qualities of all the members exploited to the fullest.
3. Members were ready to move out of their comfort zone.
4. Everyone was working with a sense of love, service and belongingness.
5. Proper departmentalization of jobs.
6. A wave of positivity in everyone.
7. Willingness to help team members in need and pull their morale.

When we combined everyone's points; we could come out with more features of our ideal team :-
8. Togetherness.
9. Loyalty
10. Spontaneity

If we look at the above virtues closely, we would realise only a few (departmentalization, common objective, potential exploitation) are those linked with "productivity". However, majority of them are connected to "positivity". And we had one of the key mantras of making a successful team : "The focus in team building has to be on positivity, much more than productivity". Guruji recently tweeted : "Happiness depends 'only' on our mind. Keeping the mind happy makes work effortless. This is the skill for productivity".

2. THIRD ENTITY PROCESS 
Another striking process in the three-day workshop was the "Third Entity Process". Here, we literally got into the "shoes" of another person. Each of us did this process in pairs and conducted it for each other. One person guides, other person performs a monologue, fictitiously placing that person in front of them who in their life holds an important position and with whom they want to sort out something\understand them better. So in the first step we tell to our friend\parent\spouse how things are not working and where they feel its going wrong\what they don't like. Then in the second step they come out of their own role, and 'become' the person to whom they were complaining\explaining. They respond the way they think the person would have responded, had they actually spoken this to them. Now this moves the actor. Most of the times in life we are stuck with what we feel about others, our own views and perspective, our own set ideas of how things should be. When we get into the shoes of other person, our vision about the same issue broadens. We discover new sides of the same truth, some of them we are reminded of. Not like we didn't know any of them before, but doing this process "acting as the other person" internalizes the feelings of the other person in us. There is a difference between knowing or understanding something, and 'realizing' something. This is what hits.
At the third step, we move back, physically to our previous position and respond as we would actually have. A sense of acceptance, peace dawns at this moment, realizing there is a sense of truth in what other person feels too. At the fourth step, we move out of both the positions, see it from the perspective of a "third entity", and as a counselor, having heard both the parties, suggest what both of them should do. This makes us clear not only regarding what to expect from the other person, but also makes us realise where we are lacking. This step ushers in a lot of wisdom. At the last step, we move back to our own position and just feel. Each one of us reported amazing feedback. Lighter, calmer, more composed, opened up, free, wiser etc. Third entity process was really one of the key highlights of the entire workshop.

3. QUALITIES OF AN ETHICAL LEADER
We divided ourselves in smaller groups, and pondered on the vision with which His Holiness has founded the first of its kind school in India - "To nurture ethical leaders in politics". What are the qualities of an "ethical leader", the kind of leader whom we all want ourselves to be led by. After a lot of brainstorming and filtering of ideas, we finalized the following eight virtues :-

1. Visionary
2. Has Belongingness
3. Transparent
4. Spiritual
5. Doesn't Misuse Power
6. Service-Oriented
7. Respects Time
8. Unbiased

Receiving the Certificate of Participation from Judy Ma'am and V.C. Sir. Prof. Kamala Sir (extreme left), Vijaya Ma'am (in white) , Pratima Ma'am (extreme right)

4. THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND WHILE WORKING IN A TEAM
Through a host of other processes and discussions, lot of learning came out of us. It is important to note that none of all this was dictated, told to us; but everything came out as an experience, a basic value of experiential learning at Sri Sri University.

1. Existence of dominant voices in a team never benefits. Dominating voices ignore the wisdom which are contained in silent voices in a team, which is often very beneficial to common good. These take time to come forward. So never proceed ahead without making sure everyone has expressed their opinion.

2. There are typical tendencies in teams to follow the pattern already set. Never get flowed with patterns.

3. Focus of every member of the team should be on the whole and not on any particular individual. The focus should be on work.

4. Very often teams just start working without setting the agenda. When the purpose gets defined, the energies get synchronized.

5. Everyone is right only partially. There is a tinge of righteousness in every team member which needs to be acknowledged.

6. The focus has to be on "what needs to happen" instead of "who did what"

7. Some situations are out of control in any relationship and are not to be blamed.

8. Emotional Intelligence deals with "I", Social Intelligence deals with "You"; and Relationships System Intelligence deals with "We".

The interactive and thought-triggering processes were decorated with the amazing person Judy Ma'am is. The way she gave personal attention to all of us was amazing. Her sense of clear observation, perception and feedback was something which we really admired. The peace, belongingness and the service attitude which was present in not only her words and actions but her presence too was noteworthy.

Truly, one of a lifetime experience! Thankful to Judy Ma'am for coming and Vijaya Lakshmi Ma'am who got her here ! And of course, His Holiness who is guiding us throughout :)